Collett: Yes, yes he does…

Mark Collett is a man with a history. Much but not all of it is covered here. Obviously, we don’t mention Batman outfits, the infamous ‘kidnapping’ etc as that would be unfair.

Collett has reinvented himself recently as a ‘serious’ fascist. He still makes us laugh, no end. He’s even brought out a book to accompany his regular podcasts. No-one likes Collett’s voice like Collett loves Collett’s voice. It’s a voice even a Mother would struggle to love.

Even the Currant Bun was taken with her

My colleague who worked on the recent ITN expose of National Actionand their friends, told us how Collett came dressed for the rumble, but did not actually rumble. He stood and watched [like John Walker?]. In fact, one of the reasons so few people attended the nazi training camp was because Collett was there.

Anyway, Collett has of late been very down on women.

Freud would have a field day with this

It turns out that not-so lovely Eva Van Housen of nazi tattoo fame, has dumped him. Yep. And her real name was Jenna Smith, anyway.

So that also explains the latest instalment of ‘The World According to Collett.’ Men who love women are weak. Maybe she stole his mojo while he slept with a picture of himself under his pillow?

Anyway, it turns out that Collett went to work one day with what he thought were his ham sandwiches in a tupperware box. But it turned out there were none actually in the box!! When he went home to query the missing sandwiches, it turns out so too was Ms Jenna Smith missing and all of the pictures he had taken of them and hung around the house.

Collett: rarely leaves home without a mirror

So, as you do, he’s made a podcast warning other boys about other women. Is it any wonder he’s single?