BNP in angst alert

BNP treasurer Clive "Rodney" Jefferson

Sometimes I forget that the BNP read this blog. To be fair, we often forget that some of them can read.

Well, my earlier blog about my BNP timepiece has apparently caused all kinds of discombobulation in the party. Not so much that I broke the open secret that the BNP’s Chinese made timepiece was a piece of tat worth less than a quid; It seems I broke the deadly secret that the BNP’s inner circle was thinking of dumping the life members.

They were waiting to break this news to their members once the Electoral Commission had published the BNP’s accounts on August 6th. Some people in and out of the BNP are very excited by the accounts. They’ve obviously not seen them.

The party’s Treasurer Clive “Rodney” Jefferson has been boasting how he has managed to turn the party’s finances around to anyone who would listen. He ever so cleverly managed to fill in all the relevant columns etc, etc in the party’s return to the Electoral Commission.

Now, far be it for me then to repeat what others have said. Namely, according to some, that Clive is being uncharitable in not mentioning the hard work of Frank Hogarth formerly of the party’s auditors Silver & Co, who was more than a little helpful since his retirement in helping Clive enter his magical numbers. Or was that also a secret?

Sometimes I wonder if the BNP’s treasury department should not actually be renamed the “massage parlour”. I can reveal to those of you who were not at the recent meeting of the BNP’s inner circle that they spent literally hours upon hours slapping each other’s backs in delight at the apparent “obliteration” and “destruction” of all party’s dissenters. Then they had to tackle the matter of the vanishing members.

Those “dissenters” are of course, the very same vanishing members, if not the majority of the party’s members. When the accounts are published on August 6th, do not be surprised to see the BNP claim that they had 7000 members in December 2011. That is almost half of the figure they had three years ago, but it would appear still quite healthy for a small party. 800 of those 7000 “members” are life members (down from the “secret” figure of 1200 in mid 2010)

So, how did the BNP manage to lose over 400 “life members” you may wonder? Well, these 400 missing people are the ones who actually bothered to give the party notice that they had had enough of being members. Another 337 (to be exact) have never been seen of or heard of again. It’s been like swapping one spark plug for another for the person entrusted with keeping the magical figure of (just over) 800 current and “alive” (to use the jovial term the BNP use amongst themselves).

The majority of those 800 surviving members took out their life membership before the party changed its constitution in February 2010. This was when they were forced to accept non-white members for those who do not recall. So, the thinking goes, the BNP is actually a constitutionally different party!!

The accounts will also say that the party suffered a drop in something like £600,000 of income till December 2011, but on the flipside, the party also made large savings in printing costs!! Those savings could either be from just not paying their printers, to the other glaringly obvious scenario that in case you have not noticed, the BNP just does not seem to produce its monthly periodicals monthly at all. If ever.

So, everyone’s currently running around at the BNP office and on their telephones querying who could have leaked their great plan to us.

What they may want to ask, is will I ever find out about the secret figure of 1791? Let’s hope not.