Far-right round up

Jones: Somebody find this idiot a village

Another exciting week in Nazi-land.

First up, our old friend Dave Jones managed to come a desperate last in a two horse election race in Todmorden last night. He’ll be disappointed. He thought he’d nailed the electorate by touring his ward, unwashed and smelling of sweat and tobacco, banging on and on about gay people getting married.

Unmarried Dave, who lives alone and without a shower, called on the services of two of London’s strangest far-right activists to help him. One was Claire Khaw, the attention seeking Chinese Nazi-apologist. The other was Jeffrey Marshall. Known as the “odd couple”, these two seem to hate unmarried mothers and disabled children as much as David hates the comforts of married life and spell-check.

I once upset David by calling him a “Village Idiot”. He protested that he did not live in a village. I would like to apologise to the idiot for that.

As we all know, the EDL is in desperate mess. Try as he might, their second in command, Kevin Carroll, just cannot keep the gang of thugs together, and continues to cause upset while trying to raise funds for cousin Stephen’s extradition fight. Let’s be very clear on this, Lennon is not a “political prisoner”. He is on remand for an alleged very serious crime and not, as some people seem to think, for writing or saying something nasty about Muslims.

If Kevin Carroll cannot keep the EDL together, then there’s not much hope that the group’s political mentor Paul Weston can, either. Paul turned up outside the wrong London prison during the week demanding to be informed about the wellbeing of “Tommy Robinson”. I’ve often hinted that Weston may not be the sharpest tool in the shed. Surely he should have known a) that Tommy Robinson’s real (prison) name is Stephen Lennon, and b) who would be the right person in the prison to ask these questions of.

If Weston cannot hold it together for Lennon, then how about his hard-man office manager Simon Bennett? No, no, you’re right…

Bennett is busily in the process of trying to reopen an old war wound he received during a face-off with Jim Dowson during their time together in the BNP. Dowson looks set to not only win this one, but allegedly the hand of fair maiden Lennon too… Expect also, Dowson to get “legal on his arse” one of our moles tells us. Nice.

Like I say, more of that soon. But if I was in the EDL, I’d make sure an aggreived Bennett did not have the opportunity to unplug our website…

In the BNP, currently doing the rounds on email is a copy of a hilarious letter that their leader Nick wrote to fellow MEPs. I will reproduce that later if there is ever a danger of a slow news day.

We did, however, ask the question how a senior BNP member who hangs around with wannabe terrorists managed to also work with impressionable young teenagers…

Wherever you are campaigning today or tomorrow, be it against the Toytown terrorists, traitors and cowards of the CxF in Rotherham or against the EDL in Parliament Square, Walthamstow and Wetherspoons, you be careful out there!

Bennett: it will end in tears…