Far-right round up

Free Tommy Robinson: with every pack of Weetabix..

Well, let’s begin with the news that all soap opera fans have been dreading: The odd couple of David Jones and Claire Khaw have split.

Needless to say, Dave has not taken it too well. Having invited his Chinese Nazi friend up to his farm to play with guns and swastikas, she has decided that he is too “low class” to continue their friendship. Apparently it boils down to not just David being a “loser” (her words), but also his being “low class” having only three pence of credit on his phone the night he was supposed to text her the result of his most recent electoral drubbing

Being referred to as “low class” has clearly upset David (there’s about 597 comments on his facebook page as people tried to explain it to him). She also complained that David never once bought her dinner on the numerous times she went to his farm. Poor old David, and to think he never once raised an eyebrow the million other times that single mother Khaw referred to other sing Mothers as “sluts”. Indeed, rather than campaign for Jones anymore, Khaw has decided she needs to rescue the reputation of serial child abuser Jimmy Savile instead!

She does love a lost cause, which will no doubt please Khaw’s suitor Jeff Marshall, who I’m told was not a fan of travelling to Todmorden to keep a jealous eye on the two, while one of the idiots was waving a firearm around.

And yes, there is an enormous white elephant in the room…

Elsewhere for fans of drama, the EDL’s Kevin Carroll has had another near-death experience. Who could forget the last cliff hanger? On Saturday, it was like Bobby Ewing getting out of the shower all over again.

Obviously, Kevin only has these “experiences” when he is on his own, rather like the Maryland farmer who keeps getting anal probes everytime he wanders into his barn late at night to look for Aliens.

Still, at least Kevin is consistent. It was Muslims again this time, as it was the last, who allegedly nearly robbed the Bedfordshire electorate of the opportunity to have a thug and a moron as their Police and Crime Commissioner. Far be it for me to say it is in anyway connected to the drubbing he is taking on the doorstep in the absence of any help from his gang of thugs known as the English Defence League, and the thirty thousand leaflets that Hope Not Hate has delivered against Herr Carroll that induces these bizarre near-death experiences.

Kev still managed to make an idiot of himself yesterday. A man laid some white poppies, as he has done for over twenty years, at the local war memorial in Luton where Carroll was himself hiding out of shot. Well, you can read all about it here but one does wonder what Kevin has been up to on the previous thirty nine Remembrance Day events that have passed off without his Gestapo-like interference in Luton.

Elsewhere in what remains of the EDL, some three or four of them managed to find their way to Wandsworth prison on the weekend to stage a “Free Tommy Robinson” protest. There are apparently three Thomas Robinson’s currently incarcerated at Her Majesty’s Pleasure in the UK, but not one of them is at Wandsworth, and not one of them is the leader of a tiny band of misfits, drug dealers, racists and hooligans. Given that EDL leader Stephen Lennon has been desperately begging for his fans to send him postal orders to pay for his luxuries while he is inside, I wonder if he has listened to “This Joke isn’t funny anymore” by The Smiths on his ipod while he’s banged up in solitary to avoid him taking his “counter-Jihad” war on tourism to the other lags on C wing?

The EDL’s website is also experiencing some problems. For those of us with experience in these things, the correct term is “Simon Bennett Server Disaster”, aided by Jim Dowson

By the way, has Dowson openly announced the launch of the St George’s Brigade yet? You won’t find news of it on facebook or in any tawdry column-filling trip around empty boozers, but residents of ‘Sarfend will better know them as EDL thugs when they magically appear there later this month, anyway.

The National Front returned to the capital yesterday, but nothing new to report. Just that it appears flares are back in fashion .

And finally, six people were arrested at Millwall over the weekend after another unsavoury incident related to racism in football.

By all accounts, Rod Liddle has jumped to the defence of the young boy accused of racism… so that should end well for him.

Bless: White elephant time