The BNP: How to be a Nationalist

Matthew Collins - 02 08 13
Griffin: Not doing well

Griffin: Not doing well

Well, it’s been a bad week for the BNP. The party’s faux treasurer and full-time undertaker, Clive Jefferson, was arrested after some BNP leaflets that may or may not have described Polish workers as ‘monkeys’, were reported to the police.

Riding to Clive’s rescue was none other than Adam Walker. Adam, who is housebound on account of a driving ban after an incident involving some young boys, has not got along with Clive for a quite a while-that’s the way BNP boss Nick Griffin likes to keep his staff; angry, and at each other’s throats.

Adam sent an immediate missive to the dwindling membership about Clive’s situation. Of course, this political act was described by Adam as “politically correct.” Given the hatred between the two, we were wondering whether that was not a Freudian slip or indeed a statement of opinion. Who knows..

What must have really grinded Adam’s non-existent gears is of course, that a fighting fund was immediately set up to help Clive. Some BNP members have actually felt quite aggrieved by Clive’s plight and have already coughed up to help him. Of course, fewer BNP members have felt any sympathy for Walker so his own fighting fund remains almost entirely, and deservedly, empty.

BNP boss Nick Griffin much prefers the younger members these days, anyway. Rumour has it that instead of shouldering most of the deserved blame for the party’s decline, he has been complaining that those who helped him pull the party down from the inside were not “educated” enough in how the state works, and how the BNP’s demise had nothing to do with the alleged grubby fingers in pies that he and his ilk were accused of, but more to do with the lack of cynicism and conspiracy [I normally read this as Anti-Semitism] among those with him at the top.

As a result, the BNP is now pouring its energies into educating the new breed of member who have joined the party. These poor mugs are already being indoctrinated with hate, fear, pessimism and a host of other BNP phobias that should help them drive the party once Griffin has lost his seat in Brussels and had to sack most of the Head Office staff.

The main problem the BNP has, other than knee-jerk racism, few of Griffin’s current gang of thugs and idiots, seem capable of actually teaching the younger members the rules of fascism. And that does include Adam Walker by all accounts. It seems he’s banned from teaching in the BNP too!

The latest issue of the party’s boring periodical Voice of Freedom includes a “teach yourself Nationalism” section. Really, this is how easy it is kids in six easy steps to becoming a British Nationalist:

Step one: Buy a pair of large bovver boots.

Step two: Disown your friends (before they disown you).

Step Three: Sit in the garden all day drinking warm lager, under a purchased England flag from a high street retailer that helpfully added the name of the country you so love across the middle of said flag.

Step Four: Buy a bucket load of pornography (from your local BNP organiser) because, you’ll be needing it..

Step Five: Never ask ‘what’s happened to Patrick Harrington these days?’

The latest issue of Voice of Freedom also has a Dorothy Brookes under the spotlight. So, lesson six: Always slip, slop, slap.


Adam: Not teaching next term

Adam: Not teaching next term


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