The ‘Jolly Boys’ have gone to Brussels…

Matthew Collins - 07 01 14
The Young BNP:

The Young BNP:

The youth wing of the British National Party (BNP), has arrived in Brussels, home of the European Parliament, for a week long ‘training camp’ under the direction of the dear leader, Nick Griffin.

From across Britain (well, Blackpool, Leeds and Essex) young BNP activists made their way to Dover for the ferry to Calais and then the drive to Brussels.

There was apparently much excitement among the youngsters as they counted the millions of foreigners arriving at the sea port oblivious to the significance of those cherished white cliffs overlooking the port.

It was certainly exciting for Kevin Layzell. For Kevin, this is four days away from Mummy with only his golliwog and a hot water bottle to protect him from the foreign hordes. It’s the biggest challenge he’s had since he was left home alone with take away menu and written instructions on how to use the dishwasher.

Layzell: I have nothing even witty to say about him...

Layzell: I have nothing even witty to say about him…

There was certainly some reticence on Kevin’s part about the whole trip. Firstly, it meant having to spend time with Jack Renshaw whose posturing, gobbyness and bragging about his libidinous escapades with a trainee firefighter from the North East leaves Kevin giddy with disgust and self-loathing.

Of course, much of this will play out perfectly in Brussels. The serious, dour and lonesome Layzell has actually prepared a briefing paper that he plans to distribute to those present which he hopes “will get the party back on track”. He recently complained that the left were “rampant” and had already won the battle against the BNP.

Layzell: What he means is,

Layzell: What he means is,

Renshaw, who although in Brussels, will be trying everything to give the impression he actually stinks of Paris, has treated this training week like he does his university coursework and left the paperwork at home. He will instead shout from the back of the room that he has better ideas to save the party, and that includes a campaign against paedophiles (not BNP ones you understand).

Yes, Jack will re-invent the BNP wheel and all those around him will be brought a pint of Belgium lager from the healthy stipend Mummy and Daddy allow him each month while he lives in Manchester. At some stage, they’ll probably all overturn Kevin Layzell’s bed and wee in his sock drawer while he’s in it [the bed or sock drawer]

However, Jack has been warned that if he upsets any more people in the party, the pervert secreated to protect him, George Edwards, will not be settling any more disputes on his behalf. Already Jack is being lined up by one documentary team for a near inch perfect reproduction of the excellent Mark Collett sting.

Renshaw: Has everything Layzell wants

Renshaw: Has everything Layzell wants

Alwyn Deacon, the trusted but incompetent office manager and election guru who ensures there are never any BNP candidates other than himself in elections, will be running some of the sessions for the youngsters. Alwyn has been invited to Brussels to run sessions because at the end of the day, he’s got nowhere near as much charisma as the Dear Leader. For this very reason, any lumps of wood that may detract from Griffin’s brilliance have been left at home.

There is actually a sense of urgency in the whole training week. Griffin is in a sorry state politically, not financially. Rest assured, that although one of the Griffin children has moved into a mobile home of late, there’s enough nuts squirreled away to ensure the Griffin family breadbin will always overflow with bread, Jam and Hungarian salami.

Chancellor Jefferson will also make sure not one of the youngsters leaves Belgium without signing over their worldly goods of girlie magazines, Play Stations and unused gift vouchers to the party just in case should they have an accident on the way home.

This is Griffin securing his political future. Pitting Layzell and Renshaw against each other but also trying to educate the young “Turks” in his party that Griffin is once more about to go for a bewildering stroll up the revolutionary garden path as the party could be about to go into meltdown should Griffin lose his seat. Already, in Manchester, Salford and Tameside veteran BNP activists are questioning whether it is even worth continuing as one put it succinctly over a pint of lager in the Salford Arms on Saturday night, “carrying on feathering Griffin’s nest.”

The BNP’s youth wing is being prepared for defeat and being educated in the cynicism and paranoid conspiracy about Jews, Zionists and Marxists that will be necessary to blame for any defeat in the European Elections.


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