Golding is the banana mastermind

Golding: Shopping for Halal food last month

Britain First’s moronic leader Paul Golding claims he is to be charged with “harassing an Al Qaeda terrorist at his home”.

No, Paul’s not been in Syria or to some cave in Afghanistan, but this supposed terrorist mastermind was at home in Essex at the time Golding turned up with a pair of knickers on his head, some diet pills and a pocket full of badges.

Such is the bizarre ritual of the defence of British values. Oh yes, binbags were present, too.

Golding’s story has changed quite a bit since he announced who his victim was and his address yesterday afternoon. But then, Corporal Golding has taken legal advice apparently to help with his busy calendar defending the country from junk food, Gayers, visible panty lines and repeat episodes of Mork and Mindy.

As Britain First breathes its apparent last vulgar breathes, Golding declared “Britain is fast becoming a Banana state where there is no real law and order and where defending your country is a crime, even against terrorists.”

He also asks for a fiver, which is apparently how much it costs to rid Britain of terrorism in Paul’s world. For the fiver, you also get a pin badge. No mention of the magical binbag, however.

Golding claims he is now not allowed to name the “terrorist” he stalked, yet the moron still has his details up for all to view on the group’s website.

A report in this morning’s Guardian claims that Golding’s sales of embroidered binbags may be in trouble, anyway. Apparently the Queen’s quango is upset with Golding selling his tat with her symbols on it.

Britain First is the perfect banana party for this “banana state”.

Thrills, pills and bellyaches