8 ways the BNP want to beg for your cash

As they do every year the British National Party (BNP) has written me an email asking me to help save the white race. The number eight seems to be quite important…

1. Reaffirming your loyalty: This can apparently be done by giving the BNP access to my bank details and allowing them to remove at will, payments that will go to prove not only am I still a patriotic Briton, but that I am still white too.

2. Join the British Resistance:Yes, this one confused me. Are the BNP in power already? And why are they recruiting for a resistance army? Worrying times, however, should the BNP ever come to power, I shall be a part of the resistance. I have plenty of piano wire, too.

3. Set up a direct debit:The only person ever likely to do this would be Jack, had he failed already to buy some magic beans on his way to the market. By giving the BNP a fiver per month, I can ensure that all future British babies will be born white. And with small willies. That’s the way Hitler wanted it.

4. Subscribe toVoice of Freedom:This is the BNP’s ‘monthly’ newspaper. According to the email, I should make sure I “never miss a copy.” Brilliant. They have only produced it seven times in the last two years.

5. Trafalgar Club:I am encouraged to join the Trafalgar club. This used to be Nick Griffin’s private slush fund of boozy lunches in posh hotels. Glad to see it’s back. Not such a good idea as the people at HOPE not hate have a copy of the membership list and made it public a couple of year’s ago. According to the BNP “Attending the Trafalgar Club black tie dinners gives you the chance to meet Chairman Adam Walker and the top officials of the British National Party annually on the eve of the Battle of Trafalgar.”

Can you imagine it? Meeting Adam Walker while Clive Jefferson rifles through you dinner jacket and Patrick Harrington offers to tie you up? But here’s the best bit: What an excellent opportunity to support our British Resistance and meet a living political legend!(their emphasis).

Legend? How many political leaders can you think of that have convictions for chasing young boys with a knife? I think the more appropriate term is “bad babysitter”. But, at least he won’t be coming to a school near you, as he is banned.

Adam Walker:

6. Donate today:Yes, there does appear to be a reoccurring theme here.

7. Sign up a friend – for HALF PRICE:I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. People in the BNP do not have any friends.

8. Get active:Yes, do something less stupid instead.