What village would house these idiots?

Never mind the quality: Feel the width

Well, the big red-top story to hit the headlines this morning is the desire of hardline neo-Nazis to build an all white homeland in England!

Now, some of you may point to certain areas of the country that resemble as much already, but according to yesterday’s Daily Star “Organisers say they have secretly bought up houses in a former mining town” and “The settlement would be based on a town in South Africa where blacks are banned”.

For some reason, every time the Star and other red-tops run one of these fabulous stories, they give scant relief by telling us that “Special branch have been alerted to the scheme and are said to be monitoring it”. Why Special Branch has not commented on the story is beyond me. “Special Branch” these days is not the Bodie and Doyle types of yesteryear, but actually more like your local “Preventing Violent Extremism Unit” and more likely to be handing out samosas to school kids than anything fanciful like what the Daily Star suggests.

Special Branch: On SKY UK Gold

The Star claims that a former BNP member “once a member of a rock band” is behind the scheme. I’d be more interested in knowing the name of the rock band, but alas, the Star fails to mention which pub rock ensemble former BNP member Chris Telford was in, or for that matter, which mining village the group has plans to buy up. Nor does it further elaborate on the group’s claims it had already “bought houses in an unnamed former mining town in the north of England”.

The group’s spokesman (mainly because women are rarely this daft) told the Star “the chilling project was inspired by a Ku Klux Klan-linked operation called Pioneer Little Europe in the US state of Montana”. How bizarre. At the start of the article it was based on a place in South Africa, but by the forth paragraph it had moved to Montana. No wonder it was so impossible for not one, but two Daily Star journalists to pin this secret “Nazi” village down. I mean, surely, how hard is it to find a village idiot?

Telford: Owns a website but no hairbrush

As for Telford, how can someone who cannot apparently afford a hairbrush be buying up houses for other neo-Nazis? Never mind, he has a website so he is half way there, I guess.

To finish up the article and prove how evil and not just plain old stupid the English Nutzis living at home with their Mums and Dads really are, the Daily Star tell us-chillingly, that back in South Africa “the Northern Cape town of Orania was set up in 1991 as “an answer to not dominating others and not being dominated by others”.

‘No black people live there’.

Next week, the Star will have a special investigation into a Mother of two who has started a breeding programme in her living room only popping out white babies in the hope to turn the Black Country white.

Editor’s note: Telford played in the Nazi rock band ‘Nemesis’ before you start looking at old editions of Top of the Pops. Just your average racist white band…