Dirty Dale ditches his dancing shoes in a bid to stop Romanian hip-hop

Matthew Collins - 08 01 16

Dale Kelk, wannabe football hooligan and leader of the laughably small South Yorkshire Casuals has launched the latest salvo in his ongoing war against all things non “indigenous.”

The Barnsley boy, who has previously declared he was up for war and said it’s “time to kick off”, has pronounced death to the disco. More precisely he’s upset that local nightclub Whispers is to host Romanian hip-hop crew Parazitii. Kelk is more outraged than the Mighty Boosh’s Tony Harrison, as he claims the bar, like tomorrow, belongs to him and his football mates.

Dale: Not very nice, is he?

Dale: Not very nice, is he?

Incensed, Dale is planning to gatecrash the event, presumably to demand that the owners instead promote some cutting edge Barnsley act such as Saxon. No doubt he’ll organise another ill-fated demo demanding Barnsley music for Barnsley people.

Meanwhile Whisper’s owners and South Yorkshire Police might want to take a peek at Kelk’s Facebook page given not just his implied threats, but fellow cod casual Brett Goulding’s apparent desire to cut off the venue’s power.

Should they turn up one thing is certain, with the SYC as sartorially challenged as they are intellectually, they won’t look good on the dancefloor.

Kelk: Defender of British values blah, blah..

Kelk: Defender of British values blah, blah..


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