Bristol and bust…

NBU: A black and white gang bang

It’s been a while since I have written about the uniform clad fascists of the new British Union (NBU), but it was good!

Since then, their quiet revolution has almost stumbled into silence. Maybe it was the bromide in their tea? So good people of Bristol, rejoice! The New British Union are bringing their time machine to you this Saturday. Yes, Bristol, prepare yourself for the arrival of a gang of weirdoes that want to snatch your children and take them back to the 1930’s -a glorious time for men in to lederhosen and women were back in the kitchen.

Raikes: On the spot guidance for lovers..

Yes, the fascists are coming to town. It’ll be like a Health and Efficiency expo as the fascists plan to dangle their janglies and spread the word that fascism is good for your health. They may even do exercises.

Sadly however, do not expect many of them. A senior member has just revealed that the gang has only eleven members! So, maybe they could have a game of football (if they manage to get the full compliment of their membership to town.)

Given their love of wearing black, it would be like playing against 11 referees (which in itself is sometimes like playing Man Utd).

oops: 11 members

I do not see it going too well to be honest, so calm yourself down, dears. Not only does the NBU not have many members, one lives in Tenerife and at least two others probably work for some kind of Zionist organisation plotting to disrupt them. I mean, come on, in all this time they have never had all of the eleven together sat the same time in the same phone box. Something is amiss here…

So if you are about in Bristol on Saturday, you may be given a unique business card with the details of a fascist on so that you can write to them. You cannot phone, as there were no phones in the 1930’s. The rather sad and disturbing thing is, these grown men (isn’t it always?) actually believe in all of this, and themsleves!

Aka the Blackshirt love patrol

Among their number, expect Clive Jones. He was an Über big mouthed member of the British National Party (BNP) a few years ago. I seem to recall some nonsense about him only teaching white pupils or something. He’s now a retired teacher in Burton on Trent who occasionally does supply work for schools.

Clive Jones: The Burton Bromide

Joining Clive will no doubt be Gary Raikes, who runs the party and its rather natty on line shop. Leader Raikes will be on hand to offer on- the- spot guidance on how to control your women folk and get her back into the kitchen and press your cheap black slacks the way a man wants and needs them.

Sadly, it appears it didn’t work with his own woman…

Business cards: A must for any shit plumber